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Clean Jokes
Laughter is the best medicine as they say. This page is not
intended to degrade anybody's religion or belief but merely for
humor and laugh purposes only.
Something Religious A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, "Two of our engines are on fire; we are flying through a heavy fog and it has eliminated all our visibility." The passengers were numb with fear, except for one - a retired minister. "Now, now, keep calm," he said. "Let's all bow our heads and pray." Immediately, the group bowed their heads to pray, except one man. "Why aren't you bowing your head to pray?" the minister asked. "I don't know how to pray," replied the passenger. "Well, just do something religious!" instructed the minister. The man got up and passed his hat down the aisle, taking an offering. Minister After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us," the mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?" "Well," the boy replied, "I'll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen." Catholics Two business men seated on an airplane noticed a Catholic Nun sitting in front of them. One of the men says to the other with a wink, "I was going to go to Ireland until I found out that half the country is Catholic, so I don't want to go there." The other man says, "Well how about Poland, then?" The first man says, "No way, Poland is loaded with those Catholics too." The other man suggests a trip to the U.S. but his companion says, "The Catholics have spread out over the whole country. Every time I turn around there, I bump into one." The men are watching and can see that the nun is fidgeting and getting kind of agitated about their conversation. The fellow who started the teasing decides to really get her mad and says, "I really wanted to go to Italy but that place is crawling with Catholics, what with the Pope there and all." At this the Nun has had it and finally turns around in her seat and sweetly says to the men, "Why don't you both go to hell? I hear that there aren't any Catholics there!" Thou Shalt Not Kill A Sunday School teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one boy (the oldest of a family of seven) answered, "Thou shalt not kill." Big Bucks Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And, it takes eight people to collect all the money!" False Teeth The congregation liked their new clergyman, but were somewhat puzzled by his speaking style. His first sermon ran only 8 minutes; the second Sunday he spoke for 45 minutes; the third week he rattled on for an hour and a half. That was enough for the Board to summon him for a little chat. To their relief, Wilkerson had a ready explanation. "The Saturday before the first sermon, I had my teeth pulled and my mouth was still terribly sore. But, by the time a week had gone by, I'd gotten used to my new dentures." Here the minister paused, and
blushed deeply. "And as for last Sunday well, I'm afraid
that I picked up my wife's set of teeth by mistake!" 
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