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Clean Jokes
Laughter is the best medicine as they say. This page is not
intended to degrade anybody's religion or belief but merely for
humor and laugh purposes only.
ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW---FROM NOAH'S ARK 1.Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. 2.Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big. 3.Don't listen to critics -- do what has to be done. 4.Build on high ground. 5.For safety's sake, travel in pairs. 6.Two heads are better than one. 7.Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails. 8.If you can't fight or flee -- float! 9.Don't forget that we're all in the same boat. 10.Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals. 11.Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside. 12.Don't miss the boat. 13.No matter how bleak it looks, if God is with you, there's always a rainbow on the other side.
Singing in the Choir A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the pastor. "You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members are going to quit too. Please do something." So the pastor went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir." "Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked. "Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing." "That's nothing," the man snorted. "Fifty people have told me that you can't preach!"
Real Miracle A newly converted hippie was very interestedly reading the Bible while waiting for transportation and every now and then would exclaim, "Alleluia, Praise the Lord, Amen" and on and on as he read on. A skeptic heard him and came and asked what he was reading. He answered" I am reading how God parted the Red Sea and let the Israelites go through--that is a miracle!" The skeptic explained "Do not believe everything the Bible tells you. The truth of the matter is that that body of water was only really 6 inches deep - so it was not miracle." The hippie nodded in disappointment but kept on reading as the skeptic was walking away feeling proud that he had set the hippie straight. All of a sudden the skeptic heard the hippie let out a big "Alleluia, PTL". At this the skeptic came back to him and asked, "What is it this time?" The hippie said excitedly in one breath, "This one is a real miracle, God drowned the whole Egyptian army in 6 inches of water!!!" next page 
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