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Clean Jokes
Laughter is the best medicine as they say. This page is not
intended to degrade anybody's religion or belief but merely for
humor and laugh purposes only.
The greatest man that ever lived. A young Jewish boy starts attending public school in a small town. The teacher of the one-room school decides to use her position to try to influence the new student. She asks the class, "Who was the greatest man that ever lived?" A girl raises her hand and says, "I think George Washington was the greatest man that ever lived because he is the Father of our country." The teacher replies, "Well...that's a good answer, but that's not the answer I am looking for." Another young student raises his hand and says, "I think Abraham Lincoln was the greatest man that lived because he freed the slaves and helped end the civil war." ... "Well, that's another good answer, but that is not the one I was looking for." Then the new Jewish boy raises his hand and says, "I think Jesus Christ was the greatest man that ever lived." The teacher's mouth drops open in astonishment. "Yes!", she says, that's the answer I was looking for." She then brings him up to the front of the classroom and gives him a lollipop. Later, during recess, another Jewish boy approaches him as he is licking his lollipop. He says "Why did you say, 'Jesus Christ'?" The boy stops licking his lollipop and replies, "I know it's Moses, and YOU know it's Moses, but business is business." Why do spouses stay together? FIREFIGHTER: "We don't let hot spots become five-alarms." CARPENTER: "A good foundation is important." TEACHER: "Still learning about each other." PRINTER: "We duplicate our fine points on a good bond. ASTRONOMER: "We don't make little novas into Big Bangs." CHIROPRACTOR: "We straighten out the kinks before they become painful stains." ELECTRICIAN: "There's always some sparkling and arcing, but we keep our hot side grounded. INNKEEPER: "Warm accommodations, pleasant atmosphere, privacy." LAWYER: "We sustain each other." ATHLETE: It takes 110%, but no pain, no gain." DENTIST: "A nice smile, first thing in the morning and last thing at night." PHARMACIST: "Love is the best medicine, and we keep a child-proof cap on our tempers." TRUCKER: "It's a long, hard road without a good buddy." GOVERNMENT CONTRACTOR: "A good partner is worth billions." MAIL CARRIER: "Daily communication." Assembly Language Codes Assembler programs are written with short abbreviations called MNEMONICS, in other words instead of writing GOTO, the programmer writes JMP or even BRA (branch). These instructions are frequently abbreviated into total incomprehensibility. Of course, we all know that abbreviations are arbitrary. Anyone who has spent any time programming in assembler knows that all computers can be programmed using an undocumented set of instructions. Frequently when an error is made writing a program in assembler a user can actually see the program executing the undocumented instructions. These instructions vary from machine from machine, but all computers have a certain set of them in common. As a service to humanity, I am here revealing these common instructions for the first time. ARG : Agree to Run Garbage 
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