|
| |||||
|
Clean Jokes
Laughter is the best medicine as they say. This page is not
intended to degrade anybody's religion or belief but merely for
humor and laugh purposes only.
Two Dogs There's a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, "Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us." The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead. They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair of dark glasses, and he starts to walk in. A guy at the door says, "Sorry, mac, no pets allowed." The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The guy at the door says, "A Doberman Pinscher?" He says, "Yes, they're using them now, they're very good." The guy at the door says, "Come on in." The guy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in. The guy at the door says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog." The guy at the door says, "A Chihuahua?" The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?" Mail to Son Dear Son: I'm writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your Dad read in the paper where most accidents happen within twenty miles of the house, so we moved. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain,and haven't seen them since. It's only rained twice this week. Three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send, your Aunt Sue said was too heavy to mail with all those big buttons on it so we cut them off and they're in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandma's funeral, up she comes. Your Uncle Joe fell in the whisky vat yesterday -- some men tried to pull him out but he fought 'em all off and finally drowned. We cremated him right after and he's still burning good this morning. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck, one was driving, two in the back. The driver rolled the window down and swam out. The two in the back couldn't get the tail-gate open so they drowned too. Not much news this time, nothing much happens round here, will try to write more next time. Love, Your Mama P.S. Was gonna send you some money but already had this sealed up. Snail Benevolent Fund A man is sitting down to read the paper when he hears a knock on his door. Upon opening the door the man is confronted by a snail on his doorstep. "Good evening," says the snail, "I'm collecting for the snail benevolent fund. Would you care to make a donation?". The snail gets his reply as the man kicks him into the bushes. Ten years later there's another knock at the door. Again, the man finds a snail on his doorstep. "That wasn't very nice!" exclaims the snail. The Good Cat Once there was a really good cat who died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates St. Peter met him and told him that because he had been a good cat on Earth he could have anything he wanted. The cat had always wanted a big fluffy pillow like the one her master had on Earth so that was her request. A few days later 4 really good mice died and went to heaven. Once again, St. Peter met them at the pearly gates and told them they could have anything they wanted for being so good. They had seen children roller skating on Earth and thought that sounded like fun so they requested roller skates. A few days later St. Peter decides to go check on the cat and make sure all is well with her. When he arrives at her pillow he asks her, "Is the pillow the right type? Are you comfortable? Do you need anything else?" To which the cat replied,
" The pillow is wonderful and those meals on wheels are
terrific!"
| |||||
|
| |||||
