ALONE WITH GOD------

QUESTION: Please explain I Corinthians 14:34-35.

ANSWER: We will first insert the full text of I Corinthians 14:34-35. "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church."

In answering this question it may be necessary to make a negative approach and discuss first what we feel it does not mean. We will insert a text from I Corinthians 11:5 by the same writer. "But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoreth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven." The fact that Paul here specifies the condition or attire the woman should be in when she prays or prophesies is sufficient evidence that what he said in I Corinthians 14:34-35 was not referring to her participating in the worship of God along with others, both men and women. Again in Acts 21:8-9 we read of Paul and his company going to the house of Philip the evangelist and verse nine says, "And the same man had four daughters, virgins, which did prophesy." Again we read in Acts 2:17, "And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,..." God said this and we would surely not debate with Him regardless of what tradition we may have come under. Again in Philippians 4:3 we read, "And I intreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel,..." This is Paul again and he mentions that he had women laboring with him in the gospel.

All this sums up to the fact that when Paul wrote I Corinthians 14:34-35 he had no intention of excluding women from participating in public worship in whatever way or capacity the Spirit led and inspired them to do, but he was speaking in this place of something specific.

Before we pass on from this point let us consider one other thing. What is prophesying? In I Corinthians 14:3 we read, "But he that prophesieth speaketh unto men to edification, exhortation, and comfort." Surely we could not identify this with any other activity than the preaching of the gospel. And when God said (Acts 2:17) that in the last days (this last age of time or the Holy Ghost dispensation) He would pour out of His Spirit upon all flesh and the daughters would prophesy as well as the sons, we conclude that it was in the mind of God to make use of the women in preaching the gospel as well as the men in this dispensation of time.

I will insert some quotations from the comments of Adam Clarke on I Corinthians 14:34-35 as to what it means and what is under consideration in this instruction.

"It is evident from the context that the apostle refers here to asking questions and to what we call dictating in the assemblies. It was permitted to any man to ask questions, to object, altercate, attempt to refute, etc., in the synagogue; but this liberty was not allowed to any woman. St. Paul confirms this in reference also to the Christian Church; he orders them to keep silence: and, if they wished to learn any thing let them inquire of their husbands at home:... This by no means intimated that when a woman received any particular influence from God to enable her to teach, that she was not to obey that influence; on the contrary she was to obey it, and the apostle lays down directions in Chapter 11 for regulating her personal appearance when thus employed. All that the apostle opposes here is their questioning, finding fault, disputing, etc. in the Christian Church, as the Jewish men were permitted to do in their synagogues; together with the attempts to usurp any authority over the man, by setting up their judgment in opposition to them; for the apostle has in view, especially, acts of disobedience, arrogance, etc., of which no woman would be guilty who was under the influence of the Spirit of God.

"To be under obedience, as also saith the law is a reference to Genesis 3:16. ‘...Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.’ From this it is evident that it was the disorderly and disobedient that the apostle had in view; and not any of those on whom God had poured out His Spirit."

QUESTION: Should women braid their hair? I believe it is wrong to bind ornaments in the hair, but some saints tell me that it is all right to braid the hair. What do you think?

ANSWER: I Timothy 2:9 and I Peter 3:3 are the two Scriptures in the New Testament which refer to women’s hair with reference to its arrangement, etc. I Timothy 2:9 says, "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array." I Peter 3:3 says, "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel."

It is important to the thought to note that both of these Scriptures have the emphasis on ornamentation and adornment. The doing of the hair is mentioned in these texts right along with gold, pearls, costly array and different adornments and ornamentations. Therefore the particular method of fixing the hair in these verses is to be identified with ornamentation and adornment. This could hardly be said of just the plain braiding of the hair as we know it today and as the saint women do it. It is just another way of fixing the hair. Some do their hair up in a "bun" on top of their heads; some in a similar way but wear it on the back of their heads; some put it up in a figure eight on the back of their heads; some wear it in a French roll down on their necks; some (especially the younger sisters) just let it hang full length; some braid it and let it hang or put it up in different arrangements on their heads. Of all these ways the women arrange their hair, I do not see that any one of them could be singled out as worldly adornment anymore than any other. No doubt, each sister tries to fix her hair in the way that is most becoming to herself.

But in the Bible times it was different from the common braiding that saint sisters use in our day, and with which we are familiar. In the Scriptures if refers to something directly identified with worldly adornment and therefore something to be avoided by saints. Let us look at what was under consideration in these Scriptures and why such was written in the Bible at all.

I Timothy 2:9 refers to "Broided" hair (the margin says "Plaited") and I Peter 3:3 refers to "Plaiting" the hair. "Broided" and "Plaited" hair involves more than the common braiding with which we are familiar today.

In the article on dress in the Zondervan Pictorial Bible Dictionary edited by Merrill C. Tenney we read these words: "Women often added to their adornment by an elaborate ‘plaiting’ of the hair. I Peter 3:3 finds it necessary to warn Christian women against relying upon such adorning to make themselves attractive." It is clear here that this writer at least, connects the statement in I Peter 3:3 with worldly adornment and ornamentation.

Smith’s Bible Dictionary in the article on hair says, "The women wore their hair natural, but braided, and dressed with strings of silk with ornaments." Also in the article on dress it says, "Jewesses did not veil their faces but covered the hair only. Women wore the hair long, braided, curled, etc., and decorated with jewels and coins...there were many ornaments in use for the hair, head, ears, nose, and neck..." All that is said here concerning the hair is in regard to adornment and ornamentation.

I Timothy 2:9, "...Not with broided hair, or gold,..." is variously translated in other translations of the New Testament as follows: "Not with braided hair, and gold" American Standard Version; "And not with wreaths of gold ornaments for the hair" Twentieth Century New Testament; "Not with plaitings and ornamentation of gold" Rotheram; "Not with (elaborate) hair arrangement of gold" New English Bible; "The adornment of a Christian woman is not a matter of an elaborate coiffure" Phillips.

Adam Clarke comments on I Peter 3:3 as follows (in part). "Plaiting the hair, and variously folding it about the head, was the most ancient and simplest mode of disposing of this chief ornament of the female head... Thin plates of gold were often mixed with the hair, to make it appear more ornamental by the reflection of light and the solar rays. Small golden buckles were also used in different parts; and among the Roman ladies, pearls and precious stones of different colours."

The word found in I Timothy 2:9 is "broided" hair. "Broided" is defined in the dictionary as, "To ornament with needlework; embroider." The thought here is the imposition of ornamental work on an already existing cloth or fabric. Then to "broider" hair would suggest the thought of imposing ornamental substance onto the already existing hair in whatever way it might be arranged.

Nothing that is said above by the various writers, dictionaries, and various New Testament translations could refer to the plain common braiding of the hair as we know it in our day, but would involve the addition of ornamental and adorning substances and material with it. The ornamenting of the hair, or any other part of the body to create eye appeal or invite admiration is branded in God’s Word as evidence of pride in the heart and is forbidden for all saints, both men and women.

ANSWER: I Timothy 2:11 says, "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection." Verses 12-15 need to be included here to establish the context and complete the thought. These verses read thus:

"But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety."

In his book What the Bible Teaches, F. G. Smith observes on this passage that it refers to a woman’s proper relationship with her own husband, and is not related to the other texts concerning the official position of women in the Church. Adam Clarke sets forth the same thing in his commentary at this place. F. G. Smith further says that this is evidenced by the example given Adam and Eve and its connection with childbearing. Adam Clarke inserts a quote from Dr. Macknight which reads thus: "However, though Eve was first in the transgression, and brought death on herself, her husband, and all her posterity, the female sex shall be saved (equally with the male) through childbearing through bringing forth the Saviour", etc.

Hence it is evident that this entire passage has reference to a woman with her husband and not to any public relationship. In the proper domestic relationship the wife is to recognize her own husband as her head and be subject to him (Ephesians 5:23 and numerous other texts). However, in spiritual things, the woman’s husband is not her head. She is a separate, distinct individual before God and is personally responsible to Him the same as is her husband. To make the wife subject to her husband and him her head in spiritual things would fix it so a woman with an unsaved husband could not live a saved life. The answer of Peter to the magistrates who had commanded them to teach no more in the name of Jesus (Acts. 5:29, "...We ought to obey God rather than men") is applicable to any case where one is required to be subject to and obedient to another. Consequently, we conclude that a married woman is to obey God rather than man even if that man is her husband. It is therefore evident that a husband is not given to be the head of his wife in spiritual things but only in domestic and temporal things.

The reference to the woman learning in silence in verse 11 I would not interpret as meaning that the woman has no voice at all in the affairs of the home, business affairs, and plans for the future and welfare of the family. I feel there should be a generous and free exchange of views between a husband and wife on all important matters, but in the final analysis the decision is in the hands of the husband, and the wife is to accept it without contention, argument, or back talk.

I Corinthians 14:35 says, "And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in church."

The position of women in the church is an age-old issue and has never been settled to the complete satisfaction of all. I have no idea at all that what I say here will satisfy the minds of all who read it. But the question is a persistent one and keeps popping up, so we have to keep dealing with it.

First, I would say that any scripture on any subject must be interpreted according to the rule of the unanimity of faith. What this means is that any scripture on any subject must be interpreted to harmonize with every other text in the entire New Testament on the same subject. Therefore, if this were the only scripture in the New Testament we would just have to accept it as the norm. Then we could allow women to attend church services but require them to be silent and say nothing while there. But it is not the only scripture on the subject, and I say we would surely lose a lot of fine talent to enforce it that way.

In What the Bible Teaches, F. G. Smith says that the idea of male superiority and female inferiority in the human race has its roots in paganism. Christianity is the only religion in the world that recognizes the equality of men and women. Paganism regards women as greatly inferior to men, and they have very little part in religion. Among the Jews, even under the law, special provisions were made for women and they were honored and respected. Some of them even rose to positions of prominence. Deborah was a prophetess and a judge in Israel (Judges 4:4). In her position as judge she would have been her husband’s judge, too, if she were a married woman. Barak refused to go to battle with Sisera unless Deborah went with him (Judges 4:8). She went with him, and God gave them a great victory.

In John 4, Jesus delivered one of His greatest sermons to a lone woman of Samaria. Then the woman took the message to the men in the town and many of them became believers. Paul recognized the equality of men and women in Christ in Galatians 3:28 "There is...neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." In Acts 21:9, it is recorded that Philip had four daughters which did prophesy. In the second chapter of Acts where the initial outpouring of the Holy Spirit upon the Church is recorded, Peter said in verses 14-18 that this was what was prophesied by Joel (Joel 2:28-29). And he said in verses 17-18, "...I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,... And on my servants and on my handmaidens I will pour out in those days of my Spirit; and they shall prophesy."

Prophecy or to prophesy primarily means to speak forth, to tell out the mysteries of God. It is to proclaim the mysteries and knowledge of God. Paul declares that redemption itself is a mystery (I Corinthians 2:7-14). To preach the gospel of Christ, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, is to proclaim the mysteries, the hidden wisdom of God to prophesy. Both men and women participated in this according to the above scriptures.

This is the general teaching of the New Testament scriptures; other cases could be cited if space permitted. But there were necessary exceptions to this because of the different customs of the Gentile people among whom Paul labored, and I Corinthians 14:35 is such a case.

The following quote is from F. G. Smith in What the Bible Teaches. "Paul was the Apostle to the Gentiles and, as such, was engaged in planting the gospel among various nations and peoples with different customs and social conditions. He found it necessary to identify with them in many of these respects in order to gain them. This is shown in his own writing in I Corinthians 9:20-23. Paul said in some of his instructions to this Corinthian Church in I Corinthians 7:26, ‘I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress.’ In such cases, those instructions would not be a standard for all people and for all time. This would be true concerning women’s silence in the Church because to interpret it otherwise would create a contradiction in the Scriptures which cannot be. The Corinthian Church was in a heathen environment so all he could do was accommodate himself to their custom."

QUESTION: Since it states in the Bible that women can be saved through childbearing, then would women have no need of being born again? Does this mean that women can get into the kingdom of God just by bearing children; thus absolving them of the spiritual aspects of salvation?

ANSWER: No, it does not absolve them from the spiritual aspects of salvation nor from the need of being born again for the following reasons. First let me insert the Scripture text here that I assume to be alluded to in this question. I Timothy 2:14-15 reads thus: "And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety."

When Jesus said to Nicodemus in John 3:3, "...Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God," He was referring to mankind the human race. He was not referring to just "man," the male side of the race, but to the race itself both male and female. This term is used this way throughout the Scriptures. In Genesis 1:27, we read, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." The male and female are component parts of one another and we see in this text they, both male and female, are referred to as man. The only time this is not true is when the male and female are being distinguished between the different roles that each of them fill in their relationships together as husbands and wives and parents in the home, and a few cases where a particular or specific woman is referred to. Thus we conclude that every person (male or female) getting into the kingdom of God must be born again and come in the same way. Acts 5:14 says, "And believers were the more added to the Lord, multitudes both of men and women."

The Amplified Bible renders the text this way, and I feel it turns the true light on it. "Nevertheless (the sustenance put upon women (of pain in motherhood) does not hinder their (souls’ salvation), and they will be saved (eternally) if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control; (saved indeed) through the childbearing, that is, by the birth of the (divine) Child." This text introduces two important points. First: that the pain suffered in childbearing, which was a part of the penalty for her transgression, and even if she die (and many have), none of this is any hindrance to the salvation. Also note that the thought carried here is not that her soul is saved because of this, but that none of this is any hindrance to her being saved. Second: that the childbearing referred to here was the bearing of the Christ Child, Jesus, the Divine and only begotten Son of God who was born of the woman without the man and was the Saviour of all mankind both men and women.

In my thinking I cannot come up with any solution to this text that satisfies me better than this. I will insert here a quote from Adam Clarke. At this place on page 593, of Vol. 6, he inserts a quote from Dr. Macknight which says in part, "The female sex shall be saved (equally with the male) through childbearing through bringing forth the Saviour, if they live in faith, and love, and chastity, with that sobriety which I have been recommending." And again on the same page we read this: "The salvation of the human race, through child-bearing was intimated in the sentence passed on the serpent in Genesis 3:15, ‘...I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head,...’ Accordingly, the Saviour, being conceived in the womb of His mother by the power of the Holy Ghost, he is truly the seed of the woman who was to bruise the head of the serpent; and a woman, by bringing Him forth, has been the occasion of our salvation."

It is interesting to note in this connection that Jesus Christ is the "Seed of the Woman." In Scripture, all the genealogies are reckoned on the male side; so and so begat so and so, and on and on it goes. A man’s seed was reckoned in his sons. This is true even though he may have begotten a number of daughters, too. But there is one exception to this rule. He who was the chief of them all, Jesus Christ, the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the Prince of the kings of the earth, the King of saints, the Blessed and only Potentate, the only begotten Son of God, the Saviour of all mankind is reckoned as the "Seed of Woman." True, after the stream of His genealogy started it was picked up and run through the male side, too, from generation to generation; but it was headed in the woman and He was declared to be the "Seed of the Woman."

After the stream ran through the male side for several hundred years, it surfaced in the woman in Isaiah 7:14, where we read, "Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel." Accordingly, we read in Luke 1:26-35, that the angel Gabriel appeared to a virgin named Mary and announced to her that she was going to conceive and bear a son and said some very exalting, majestic things about Him. She questioned how this could be since she was a single woman, but Gabriel explained to her that the Holy Ghost would come upon her and the Highest would overshadow her, and therefore that holy thing which would be born of her would be called the Son of God. The prophecy of Isaiah 7:14 surfaced again in Matthew 1:20-25, where the angel is explaining to Joseph about this miraculous, spiritual phenomena which was baffling him. The angel told him that it was by the Holy Ghost and that it was the fulfillment of Isaiah 7:14.

So the Saviour was clearly and totally the seed of the woman and I am satisfied in my own mind to accept this as the solution to I Tim 2:15. Acts 17:30 says that now God "...commandeth all men every where to repent." As noted before, when the Scriptures speak of man or men in regards to salvation, they are referring to human kind all of them; both male and female. So women are required to repent the same as men. That much is clear.

QUESTION: Please give us a lesson on how to raise our children and teach and train them.

ANSWER: In Psalm 127:3-5 we read, "Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate."

God ordained that the man (Adam) and the woman (Eve) which He created would be joined together in holy wedlock and that they should produce children (offspring) and bring forth fruit unto God. This first pair was the pattern for all succeeding generations. God adds children to a marriage as one major means of blessing the parents, enriching their lives and giving luster, cheer and pleasure to the home and family. In these verses He teaches that the children are a valuable asset to the parents and are a source of strength and support to them.

We need first of all to recognize the value and importance of our children in God’s sight. They should be precious and of prime importance in our sight also. They are a blessing from God and are the heritage of the parents from Him. In Genesis 33:5 Jacob referred to the children which God had graciously given Him. In Genesis 48:9 Joseph said unto his father, "...They are my sons, whom God hath given me in this place...."

God, however, gives children to parents for a specific purpose beyond what has yet been mentioned. Within those little bodies are souls that Christ died for and are precious in God’s sight. He has intrusted those souls to the care of parents that they might train, teach and nurture them in the ways of the Lord, and so beget within them a desire for salvation and to love and serve Him. He wants to increase the population of heaven, and the size of His own family with those souls, and has strictly charged the parents to whom He intrusted those souls to do all in their power to take good care of them so they may be returned to Him as redeemed souls at the end. Every set of parents has a good missionary project in their own home.

In Psalm 48:12-13 we read, "Walk about Zion, and go round about her: tell the towers thereof.

Mark ye well her bulwarks, consider her palaces; that ye may tell it to the generations following." Psalm 102:18 says, "This shall be written for the generation to come: and the people which shall be created shall praise the Lord." We see, then, that God values our children as much as us and He wants them to be saved the same as us. He expects us to bring them up knowing the same truth that we know and believing in the same God. He charges all parents with the responsibility of teaching and training their children in a way that they will know what salvation is and how to get it. We will be held accountable to God for failing to do this as much as we will be held accountable for failure to do God’s will on any other line. Please read in connection with this Deuteronomy 4:9-10, 8:6-9, 11:18-21, to see how diligently God commands His people to continually have these truths before their children.

Adam Clarke, commenting on Deuteronomy 6:7, says that the Hebrew word used here (diligently) means to repeat or do a thing again. He further says at this place, "God’s testimonies must be taught to our children, and the utmost diligence must be used to make them understand them. This is a most difficult task; and it requires much patience, much prudence, much judgment and much piety in the parents, to enable them to do this good, this most important work, in the best and most effectual manner."

If we want our children to really get a firm hold on the truths of God’s Word, we must diligently teach them in a spiritual way, not just like a school class or teach the Bible like a school book, but we must be very spiritual ourselves and teach them in that atmosphere by example as well as precept. I was told that Bro. Willie Murphey used to instruct his boys when they were growing up, "Boys, you watch me, and anything you see me do will be all right for you to do. If you don’t see me do it, you better not do it." I would say that is good solid teaching and training. We must be obeying and practicing God’s Word ourselves and let our children see it in actuality as it is being taught to them. In other words, teach them the truths and principles of God’s Word and then tell them, "Now just watch me and I will show you how to do it and how it works out in everyday living." If we can’t do this, we are totally defeated to start with.

This is the way Jesus taught His disciples and us. I Peter 2:21-23 says that Christ left us an example that we should follow in His steps. In John 13:15 Jesus said, "...I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done..." That is the way He taught His disciples and us, and that is the way we must teach our children if we want them to really get it. If you want to really confuse your children and discourage them, then just try the old "Don’t do as I do; but do as I say" theory. II Timothy 2:6 says, "The husbandman that laboureth must be first partaker of the fruits." This will apply to you teaching your children as well as your pastor teaching you. This is of extreme importance.

If you teach your children to love God above all else and put Him first in their life, then let them see you putting Him first in your life and loving Him supremely. If you teach your children to be unselfish and to share, then let them see no selfishness in you and see you sharing with one another and with them. If you teach your children that they must not strive, nor quarrel among themselves, then let them never, never hear you, their parents, striving, quarreling, speaking harsh, sharp, cutting words one to another nor arguing between yourselves. If you teach them to be humble and submissive one to another and to you, their parents, then let them see you manifesting a lot of humility and submission one to another in the fear of God. Especially let them see their mother humbly and graciously submitting herself to their father as the Word of God instructs her to do. If you teach them to live in peace among themselves, make sure that they see you living in peace between yourselves. If you teach your children to deny themselves and never contend for their own way, then let them never hear either of their parents contending for their own way, but let them see them both denying themselves and submitting one to another.

I here insert another quote from Adam Clarke’s commentary. "He who understands the way of God should carefully instruct his household in that way: and he who is the father of a family should pray to God to teach him, that he may teach his household. His ignorance of God and salvation can be no excuse for his neglecting his family: it is his indispensable duty to teach them; and God will teach him, if he earnestly seek it, that he may be able to discharge this duty to his family. Reader, if thy children or servants perish through thy neglect, God will judge thee for it in the great day."

Abraham faithfully taught his household, which included Lot, the principles of upright living and righteousness; also the entertaining of strangers and hospitality to travelers. This paid off good dividends in later years with Lot and his family. When the angels came to Sodom at evening, Lot, looking for opportunities to show hospitality to strangers and travelers, and help to the needy as he had been taught by precept and the example of his Uncle Abraham, went right out and urged the men to come under his roof for the night. This proved to be the saving of his life as well as his two daughters’ lives. Way over in the New Testament, reference is made to this in Hebrews 13:2, "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." The principles of righteousness and upright living continued to direct Lot’s life so that he was not drawn into the evil, corrupt way of life which was prevalent all around him, but it was obnoxious and vexatious to him. He had been taught better than that. Peter referred to him in II Peter 2:7-8, "And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked: (For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds.)"

I insert here still another quote from Adam Clarke in regard to Lot. "He and his family...alone were free from the pollution of this accursed people. How powerful are the effects of a religious education, enforced by pious example! It is one of God’s special means of grace. Let a man only do justice to his family by bringing them up in the fear of God, and He will crown it with His blessing.... This is your work that is the Lord’s. If through your neglect of precept and example, they perish, what an awful account must you give to the judge of the quick and the dead. It was the sentiment of a great man, that should the worst of times arrive, and magistracy and ministry both fail, yet, if parents would just be faithful to their trust, pure religion would be handed down to posterity, both in its form and in its power."

Before passing on from the discussion of Abraham and Lot and his family and the relationship between them, let me point out and emphasize this point. Abraham was a man that lived very close to God, and God was well pleased with him, and his sacrifices were acceptable to God. Consequently, he stood in a place with God where God would and could accept his plea in behalf of his kinsmen (Lot and his family) as the hour of destruction approached for the city in which they dwelt. It seems that in the narrative related in the 18^th and 19^th chapters of Genesis that the Lord himself and the two angels with Him appeared in the form of men to Abraham and he entertained them. After they had eaten the meal that was prepared hastily for them the two angels went on their way, but the Lord tarried and made known unto him what He was going to do in the destruction of Sodom. He knew that Abraham had kinsmen down there and he would not carry out His purpose to destroy the city without letting him know about it. Then Abraham began to plead with the Lord to spare the city if 50 righteous people could be found in it. The Lord agreed to that. Then Abraham asked that if 50 couldn’t be found if He would spare it for 45; then 40, then 30, then 20 and finally 10 and the Lord accepted his petition all the way, step by step, and agreed to spare the city if 10 righteous people could be found there. That would surely cover Lot and his family. Abraham was pleading for their lives and the Lord knew it, but the Lord was pleased with his life and faithfulness and his sacrifice was acceptable to God, so he was qualified to plead in their behalf. But, alas, all of them had not maintained righteousness, so there were not enough to save the city. But watch it now. The two angels spent the night in Lot’s home and in the morning told him to go to his married children and tell them and their families to get out quickly because the destruction of the city was imminent. They would not go, so the angels took Lot and his wife and their two daughters and told them to hurry and get out of there because they could not do a thing until they had gone out of the city. (Genesis 19:22.) Abraham had made an acceptable plea for the lives of Lot and his family, and the angels made certain that Lot got the message and was gone from there before the destruction fell. This can all be traced to the acceptability of Abraham’s life and his sacrifices before God.

Ah, parents, grasp the urgency and the importance of our own lives being well pleasing to God and our sacrifices acceptable to Him. It is very important that we have a good relationship with God and a life well pleasing to Him so that our sacrifices will be acceptable in defense of our children and in behalf of their salvation.

I am fully aware of the fact that we are somewhat at a disadvantage, even legally, in disciplining our children. The legislators have taken hold of the matter of "child abuse," and in some cases have enacted laws that prohibit parents from using a paddle or switch on their children. I have read where there have been attempts in our congress to enact laws to permit children to bring suit against their parents in court if they do not like the way they have been disciplined. I understand this has been hotly contested and debated on the floors, and in the chambers of congress, but so far as I know has never gotten through, even in any modified form, and I hope it never will. Such would just open the door wide to outright rebellion and anarchy through our children and younger set, and the courts would be hopelessly flooded with such cases because "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child;..." (Proverbs 22:15.) Children don’t like discipline of any kind at any time. None of them do. They want to be at liberty to go their own way and do their own thing all the time and do not like restraint, especially if they are a strong-willed child. You will be at loggerheads with him or her anytime you try to restrain them in something they want to do.

Notwithstanding all this, saints have God’s Word to go by in training their children, and we can count on God backing us up in it if we pray earnestly to Him, follow His instructions and employ His way in dealing with them. In Proverbs 19:18 we read, "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying." This verse seems to teach us that there is a time or period of their lives when our chastening will be to their profit, and we are admonished to not pass that time up, for when it is past there will be no more hope of helping them by that means. Again in Proverbs 13:24 it says, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." It is a perverted sense of love we express when we are so sympathetic and "loving" toward our children that we cannot stand to hurt them and hear them cry over a chastisement we are administering to them. The word betimes seems in my mind to mean when it is necessary, administer the discipline and when it is not necessary, don’t do it. Proverbs 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." This verse makes it clear that it is common to all children to have foolishness bound up in their hearts, but God Himself has designed that the rod of correction in the hand of a wise and good parent shall be a means of helping to guide them out of their foolishness. Again in Proverbs 29:17 we read, "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul."

Now this is God’s instructions for dealing with and training our children, and He will surely back us up in doing this when it is done in the proper way. But let it be hoped that among the saints when it is necessary to chastise our children that we will have them sufficiently under control, and ourselves sufficiently under control, that we won’t get into trouble with the authorities and fall under a charge of "child abuse" or unnecessary brutality over the way we did it. There are some cases, and perhaps we all know some, where the parents need to discipline themselves and get themselves well in hand before they even start in on disciplining and correcting their children. The same God who inspired Solomon to write these texts of instruction in the Scriptures in regard to our chastising and correcting our children, also inspired the Apostle Paul to write this warning and admonition in the Holy Scriptures: "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4. "Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." Colossians 3:21. Ah, fathers and mothers, let us seek God earnestly to enable us to more clearly and deeply understand the extent and depth of our responsibility and authority with our children, that when it is necessary to chastise them, we may do so in the meekness and gentleness of Christ and not in severity and sharpness.

Adam Clarke says in regard to provoking to anger, "If a father punishes his child in severity and sharpness, the child will only be hardened in his sin." One man was whipping his boy in severity and harshness and asked the boy if he knew why he was doing this, and the boy said, "Yes, it is because you are mad and you are bigger than I am." Here is a fair example of a child being hardened in his resentment through his punishment. Sternness and severity seldom work any good purpose with children. There must be a lot of meekness and love in our chastisements and corrections if they are to be effective.

I remember a time when my own two boys had been guilty of what to me was a heinous crime of misbehaving and making a disturbance in the worship service at the chapel. I took them both down to the bedroom and talked with them a little about how bad a thing that was and how desecrating that was to the worship and service of God, and that I could not by any means pass over a thing like that. I prayed with them and then soundly spanked them. As soon as I finished with that, I just dropped down between them, and broke out crying and sobbing. Both those boys began to love and pat me and say, "Oh, Daddy, don’t do that. Don’t cry, Daddy. It’s all right, we’re going to be good boys." Perhaps that little episode did more good for those boys than any other correction I ever gave them.

I can remember my father’s dealings with me in the matter of chastisements. He never jumped at me in an agitated way nor approached me harshly or sternly. Sometimes he would pray over it for two or three days. Then he would take me down to the barn and talk to me and pray with me a while; then he would give me a genuinely sound switching. All the time he was just as calm as if we were eating ice cream. There was no trace of agitation, sternness or harshness. I can never remember a time when my father would chastise me that I did not feel closer drawn to him than before.

As your children grow older, be a pal with them. As they show interests and tendencies to certain activities hunting, fishing, playing ball, etc. provide them with the essentials and equipment for those activities they are interested in. Provide time, on your part, to go with them occasionally on outings for hunting, fishing, camping, playing, etc. Let them lead the way in this, for if you don’t you may be planning things for them which they have no interest in and do not like. You may not enjoy the particular thing your boy or girl does, but that is just one among many points in which you may need to deny yourself and your own likes and dislikes in order to be a good parent to your children.

This is something I did not do enough of. I found out later, when it was too late to bless the lives of my children, how much I should have done this to keep a hold on my children. Anytime I would come along where my boys were playing ball and enter in and throw a few balls or catch a few, no matter who or how many other boys were around, my boys would just pull out and start playing ball with me as they did not get to do this very often. That manifested the hunger they had for Daddy to share their activities with them. I did not, at the time, realize the importance of this, but now give this kind of advice and counsel to all parents with young children. In fact, since my children have all been grown and established in homes of their own, I have talked with all of them and acknowledged that I had not been the father to them that I should when they were growing up, in that I did not spend enough time with them and participate enough with them in the activities they were the most interested in, and asked forgiveness for this shortcoming.

In schools they have a "Father and Son" banquet, and other "Father and Son" activities. They expect the boys to bring their fathers on these occasions. When your boy comes to you and lets you know one of these times is coming up on a certain date, it will make him stand tall and help to create a closer relationship between you and him if you will just say, "All right, son, you can count on me. I will cancel all plans I have for that evening and be available to you." It makes your son feel important and adds dignity to his life.

Now to use a phrase from the world’s vernacular, "Learn to roll with the punches." Change your tactics as your children get older. You cannot deal with them in the same way you could when they were smaller. They are developing and you must develop too if you are to maintain a close relationship with them and keep your hold on them through that period of their lives when they need you the most. Study out different methods of dealing with them, and note carefully which are the most effective. This is the time when you need to develop as close a pal relationship with them as possible. Go places with them, do things with them as much as possible. Above all else, maintain a good, close relationship with God. Pray much and earnestly for God to give you courage, ability, wisdom, grace and faith to be able to pilot your children through this very difficult and important time of their youth.