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If
You Can't Help It
We
should always like to have the ability to make things go
as we wish them to go in this life. We should always like
to accomplish everything we attempt. We desire all our
plans to work out as we plan them. We should like to avoid
all disappointments, all failures, all wrecking of our
hopes and plans. Unfortunately, or perhaps sometimes
fortunately, we cannot always accomplish what we desire.
There are none of us but who can look back upon mistakes,
failures, and other things in the past that bring us
regret. I suppose all of us would like to change many
things in our lives. We should like to have the
opportunity of trying again where we failed.
Perhaps we realize that failure was our own fault. Perhaps
we look back upon errors, indiscretions, blunders, etc.,
that humiliate and trouble us. We live under the shadow of
them. Some of us are saying to ourselves, "Oh, if I
had not done it. Oh, if I had done differently."
Others are saying, "I failed. What is the use to try
again?"
There are others who look back upon dark things in their
lives that have come upon them seemingly through no fault
of their own. They cannot get away from the influence of
these things, or at least they do not do so. A blighting
influence from the past permeates and darkens the present.
What shall we do with those things of the past, We cannot
live over those days that are gore. We cannot have another
chance in the things wherein we failed. We cannot turn the
clock of time back; to yesterday. We are here in today.
Those things are back in yesterday. We are eternally
separated from them so far as having power to change them
is concerned. We cannot help the past.
There is but one thing left for us, that is—make the
best of the present. We cannot make the best of the present
if we bring into it things of the past that be me present
hindrances. Some wrongs of the past may be righted.
Some things that have been done may be undone. If so,
instead of letting the shadow of these things rest
upon our lives and their weight upon our consciences
we should make haste to do all that can be done to
right them. There are people who should make things right
that they have done that have wronged people. I shall not
tell you to pass these by, to forget them. Instead I must
say it is your duty to do everything possible to make
right any wrongs of the past.
I am talking in this chapter of things we cannot help, not
of things we can help or of damage we can repair. There
can be no excuse for our not doing what we can do to
repair errors of the past. At the same time there are many
things that cannot be improved by anything we may do. No
effort of ours can make them better. We may regret the
past ever so much. We may be humiliated by it. It may be a
constant trouble, goading us all the time. What shall we
do about such things? I find in my note book a little
verse, the origin of which I do not know:
"For
every evil under the sun
There is a remedy or there is none;
If there is one try to find it,
If there is none never mind it."
This is excellent advice. If there is a remedy for the
past try earnestly to find it, but what cannot be remedied
should be left to the past. Shakespeare says, "What's
gone, and what's past help should be past grief." We
should shut the door of the past lest the chilling breezes
that blow through cause us to be unable to make proper use
of the present. Paul had things in his life that troubled
him. Mention is made here and there in his writings of
that much regretted past. The blood of God's saints was
upon his garments. He remembered the bitterness and hatred
he had put into the pitiless persecution that he had
visited upon the Christians. He remembered his part in the
death of Stephen. He remembered how he had witnessed
against many, had thrown many into prison, had brought
many to death. He could not change the past. There was but
one thing he could do. He resolved to do what was possible
to do. He said, "One thing I do. Forgetting those
things that are behind I press forward."
Ah, yes, forgetting the past. We should like to forget
things. We cannot forget them. Alas! neither could Paul
forget in the sense of banishing them from his memory. He
could forget them, however, in a very practical sense, and
this he did. He did not let them hinder him living a life
of freedom and activity, of love and sacrifice, of
wholehearted devotion to the Christ he had hated. He threw
all his energies into today. He did not let vain regret
hinder him. Perhaps those regrets, deep and poignant as
they were, often pressed in upon him, lint he pushed them
aside and threw himself anew into the work he was doing,
perhaps even more zealously than he would have done or
could have done had he not been spurred on by these
regrets.
Some are chained to the past by griefs and sorrows. Some
live in the past with loved ones who have gone to a
brighter clime. Some homes are kept darkened and th, voice
of music is hushed. A dead hand lies upon the heart and
upon the home. Such a sorrow can be a blight the life.
What shall we do? Shall we tear affection fom our hearts?
Shall we put from us thoughts of the happy past? No, we
need not do this, but we must not walk with our sorrow and
commune with it until it becomes the greatest fact in our
lives.
We must resolutely overcome blighting sorrow. We must live
in today. There may be a sort of grim pleasure in living
in a cemetery. Such a life is but a living death. Our
loved ones would not wish us thus to sorrow for them. They
would desire us to enter into the activities of today.
They would be remembered but not with a sorrow so deep and
absorbing that it shuts out any of the happiness that
might come to us today or prevents us from filling the
useful place we might fill.
There are others who are not so troubled about the things
of yesterday as they are about the things of today. There
are people who have within themselves things that are
constantly getting them into trouble. They are of an
unfortunate temperament or they have things in their
disposition that are constantly cropping out, things that
they try to curb but often fail to master. To be sure we
should resolutely endeavor to be masters of ourselves but
if we have things in our makeup that we cannot help we
cannot help them, that is all there is to it. We should do
all we can, but when we have done all we can we should
adjust ourselves to the facts. We should not permit these
things to blight our lives.
When the Lord accepted us he accepted us with those things
in us. He knew all about them. If those things did not
prevent his accepting us they will not prevent his
continuing to love us. They will not prevent our serving
him acceptably. They may cause us trouble and humiliation,
but if we cannot help it we cannot help it, so we must
make the best of it.
Have you tried again and again to overcome something and
still it troubles you? Well, Paul had such an experience.
Of course you remember that oft mentioned "thorn
in the flesh." Paul tried to get rid of that, but the
Lord did not take it away. He said, "My grace is
sufficient." In other words, he said to Paul, "I
am not going to take that away from you. I am going to
leave it there to work a good purpose in you. I know what
it will work out. You put up with it. You make the best of
it. I will see that you come out all right." Now, the
Lord may talk that way to us or at least may hold that
attitude toward us. Paul went ahead and made the best of
an unpleasant situation. He succeeded. We may do likewise.
Sometimes we are tempted to look upon ourselves as
failures. I suppose all of us come short of our hopes and
expectations many times. One thing, however, is certain.
We shall never be real failures unless we surrender to
circumstances and give up the fight. Sometimes out of
failure come the greatest victories. What seem to be the
greatest failures sometimes prove to be the greatest
successes. I shall quote something from the Great Western
Magazine concerning that great man, Abraham Lincoln. It
has in it a lesson of perseverance under the most trying
and disconcerting circumstances one can imagine. As you
read, think if you have had more failures in your life
than he or more cause to give up trying.
"When Abraham Lincoln was a young man he ran for the
legislature in Illinois, and was badly swamped."
"He next entered business, failed, and spent
seventeen years of his life paying up the debts of a
worthless partner."
"He was in love with a beautiful young woman to whom
he became engaged—then she died."
"Entering politics again he ran for Congress, and was
badly defeated. He then tried to get an appointment to the
United States Land Office, but failed."
"He became a candidate for the United States Senate
and was badly defeated."
"In 1856 he became a candidate for the
Vice-Presidency, and was once more defeated."
"In 1858 he was defeated by Douglas."
"One failure after another—bad failures—great
setbacks. In the face of all this he eventually became one
of the greatest men of America, whose memory is loved and
honored throughout the world."
These do not exhaust the catalog of Lincoln's failures.
Many others might be added to this list. But was Lincoln a
failure? By no means. Neither need you be, notwithstanding
all the failures you make.
Perhaps the greatest "failure" the world ever
saw was Jesus of Nazareth. Seeking to do a great work he
came to his own, but his own rejected him. They hardened
their hearts against him. They opposed him most bitterly.
Again and again he had to escape for his life, and at last
he was taken, condemned, ignominiously crucified. He who
had proclaimed himself Son of God was now a pauper, laid
in a borrowed tomb, leaving his disciples disappointed,
chagrined, hopeless, despairing. But was that the end? Ah,
no, he rose again to be the world's Redeemer.
The question is not, "Have we made failures?" or
"Will we make other failures?" We shall never
become blunder proof. We shall not always be wise and
discreet in our future conduct. We do not know enough
always to avoid such things. Then, too, we are often taken
by surprise by things and have to act without
consideration. Of course we shall not always do the wisest
and best thing.
We also have weaknesses and these weaknesses will
sometimes assert themselves. Perfection in the realm of
human conduct is not a thing of this world. Paul speaks of
that which is perfect as being in the future. When that
comes we shall know as we are known. We shall see clearly
and we shall be able to do that which is wise and we shall
be strong enough to meet, as they should be met, all the
circumstances that arise. But now we are imperfect. We
have our weaknesses and shortcomings. We should not
surrender to these. We should not allow them to blight our
lives, nor to discourage us, nor to make us feel that we
are failures. We should resolutely make the best of these
and face life with courage. But de you say, "I am so
ashamed of my blunders and weaknesses ?" Wesley's
advice to his fellow ministers was "Never be ashamed
of anything but sin." If you cannot be what you
desire to be, be what you can be and do not be ashamed of
it. Do not let mistakes or imperfections prevent you from
doing what you would do. I remember one young man who
succeeded in getting a position that paid him a salary
which for that day was looked upon as being rather
unusual. Through a combination of circumstances he lost
that position. It was not his fault. His conduct reflected
honor upon him. He sacrificed greatly to do what he did.
He felt he was wronged. He returned to his home,
surrendered to circumstances, gave up to discouragements,
and so far as I have learned permitted his life to be
ruined by it. This is an example of what we should avoid.
But, leader, are you doing the same thing? Are you
following out the same principle? If so, cease to do so.
Be the man or the woman you can be and hold up your head
and look the world and circumstances in the face and
assert your manhood or your womanhood. Say, "I have
failed, but I am not a failure. I have failed, but I will
yet succeed." There are many things that people have
to face— home troubles, business reverses, debts,
physical handicaps, and many like things. But look upon
the great names of history and see how many of those who
had such things to meet have risen above them and in spite
of them have resolutely gone forward to victory. Many
people seem to do well until some crisis comes, and they
fail. This failure seems to change the whole course of
their lives. They look upon their lives differently and
hold a different attitude toward themselves than formerly.
I had such an experience. Actively engaged in evangelistic
work, feeling that I had developed to the place where I
was prepared to do more effectual work than hitherto,
having plenty of opportunities for work, I was going
forward, hopeful, even confident of success. Nevertheless
in the midst of this I was stricken. Worst of all I
realized that I had brought it upon myself. Lying upon my
bed suffering day and night, continually without respite,
I would look back to the time I was injured and think I
had no one to blame but myself. The fact that it was
wholly an unexpected thing, that I had no way of
foreseeing and thus could not avoid it, did not change the
fact. I had brought it upon myself. Oh, the days and
months of self-condemnation, of bitter regret! It darkened
all nature. It brought me to the verge of despair. Again
and again I said to myself, "I am only a has been.
The future holds nothing desirable for this life. I have
nothing to look forward to. So far as my work is concerned
and my life among men I had better died." For eight
long weary years I went on without any ray of hope shining
for the future. But I learned to make the best of the
present, to turn resolutely away from he past and to cease
self-condemnation. After I had learned this lesson God
opened the door of opportunity to me again in a most
unexpected way. He has given me a larger field than ever
before, and to the glory of his grace I believe he has
made me more useful than I ever should have been without
learning these hard lessons. Whatever there may be in your
life that cannot be helped, do not sit down and fold your
hands and spend your days mourning. Make the best of it.
There is a out, and that way leads to victory and success.
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