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Fertilizing
The Worry Tree
Some
people are not satisfied to have a worry tree and to
permit it to grow as it will. They fertilize it and water
it. Oh, no, they do not mean to do this ! Nevertheless
they do it. They would like to be rid of their worries.
Very often they worry over their worries. I once knew a
woman who was so given to worry that when everything was
going well and she could find nothing to worry about she
would worry because she thought things were going too well
and would certainly bring trouble. Nor is she the only
person of this sort I have seen.
But how do we fertilize the worry tree? There are many
ways. Some of them we shall recount.
First, we increase our worries by failure to face the
facts calmly. We are like some horses. We become
frightened at some things which have in them nothing that
ought to frighten us. When we come to realize this we are
sometimes quite ashamed of ourselves. When there is a
threatening or unpleasant prospect before us and we are
tempted to worry over it we should not allow ourselves to
become excited or agitated. We can meet things in calmness
better than we can when agitated; when we are masters of
ourselves better than when we are the prey of our fears.
We should face the facts—all the facts. We should not
merely take note of the ones that oppress our feelings
most. Our tendency naturally is to look at the worst side
and to be impressed by the most threatening things, and to
overlook the favorable elements. We are influenced by our
feelings more than by sound judgment and by our fears more
than by our courage. Troubles often look much worse than
they are. In fact, we can usually bear them better than we
suppose we can, but we are naturally disposed to take one
look at things, then fear the worst. One of old said,
"I feared a fear and it came upon me." Why did
his fear come upon him? Because fear made him adopt an
attitude that opened a way for its coming. He threw down
his shield of faith. He began to tremble and shrink. If he
had resolutely faced his fear it probably would never have
come upon him.
Failure to give weight to the facts we know will fertilize
the worry tree. Very often we know that we can meet things
if we will. We know there are certain favorable aspects we
should consider. But instead of giving attention to these
we look entirely to the unfavorable things. We forget the
weapons of our warfare are mighty through God. We are like
a soldier who told an experience he had in our Civil War.
One day he was riding out with a comrade when suddenly
they came face to face with two of the enemy. There was a
lively exchange of shots. In the end one of the enemy lay
dead upon the ground while the other was severely wounded.
Upon returning to camp this man examined his revolver. To
his surprise not a shot had been fired. His companion had
done all the shooting that had over come their enemies. He
had sat on his horse like a statue, forgetting all about
his part. I fear all too many of us when we face a
conflict forget our weapons and the ability we have to use
them, and instead of fighting we worry, and worry.
Another mistake we make is giving way to our feelings
rather than controlling them. Our emotions are easily
stirred, whether they be joyful emotions or the opposite.
Very often bad feelings assert themselves— fear, doubts,
timidity, foreboding. We give place to them. We let them
run riot. We fall into a panic. We should take command of
our feelings. We should master them. Our action should be
a response to good judgment instead of to our emotions.
Many people are tormented by foreboding of evils to come
and these forebodings are the source of disturbances in
all the faculties. This need not be if we will control
ourselves and make the intellect rather than the emotions
the captain of our soul.
We fertilize the worry tree by exaggerating the
possibilities of evil and by not considering the
probabilities of good. When we are threatened with some
evil let us ask ourselves the question, "Will this
thing necessarily turn out evil? Will it necessarily prove
to be what it looks as tho it might be? Will the results
assuredly be what they promise to be?" Let us look at
the factors that may balance these possibilities. Let us
give due weight to the possibilities on the other hand.
Let us ask ourselves whether we are not adding to the real
dangers by our imagination. Let us see if we are not
magnifying the chances of things going wrong. Strip things
of the seeming and get down to the reality. They will
usually be found to be much less dangerous than they
appear to be and we shall see that there is little if any
cause to fear them.
A fertile source of trouble is self-pity. I know of
nothing that can torture a soul more than self-pity and
this self pity has in it an element of cowardice. We say,
"Oh, it is too bad that I must suffer so. It is too
bad that I must have such trouble. How unfortunate I am.
How many things I have to endure. Why cannot I get along
as do others ? Why cannot I have an easy time as have
they? Why must my way be so rough? Why must I meet so many
difficulties? Oh, my poor self! What will I do?" If
one wants to make himself thoroughly unhappy let him adopt
such a course. It matters not whether there is anything
really calculated to produce unhappiness. This of itself
is sufficient. Get rid of self-pity if you want to be
happy for you never will be happy while you have it except
with that poor sort of satisfaction which comes through
self-pity.
A twin sister to self-pity is a disposition to seek the
sympathy of others and to enjoy telling our troubles,
magnifying them in a way to excite sympathy. These things
shrivel up the soul.
We often increase our fears and troubles by telling them
to others. The more we think of them and the more we tell
them the deeper the impression made upon our own mind by
them.
A further source of trouble is questioning the loyalty of
others to us or their interest in us and sympathy for us.
Do not expect other people to worry because you worry, or
to fear because you fear. Friends are usually as loyal as
we deserve them to be. They usually have as much interest
in us as we merit by our conduct and attitude. They
usually have enough sympathy for us when we actually need
it. We should not expect them to have sympathy for us when
we are acting in a way that tends to disgust them. If we
show ourselves real soldiers and meet things with
courageous, hopeful, forward looking faith, and then
things go ill with us we may expect ready sympathy. If we
show ourselves cowards, if we whine and sniffle, to bestow
sympathy upon us would be to waste it. If we expect others
to be loyal to us we must be loyal to ourselves. If we
expect them to have an interest in us we must act in a way
to arouse their interest.
And finally, we fertilize the worry tree by questioning
God's faithfulness and love and mercy and his every act of
care.
Have you been fertilizing your worry tree? If so you have
only yourself to blame if it spreads itself over all your
dwelling and if it sighs day and night in the mournful
breeze, like the somber moaning of the pine.
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